At some point in the day, various Portalocity customers would receive the following politely-worded message from Portalocity's automated system. True to form, it had been designed to look like an individualized message, stressing how much Portalocity cared about you, paying customer, but at some point, someone fell down on the job.
Probably the damn gnome.
Dear VALUED CUSTOMER,
We see that you have recently TRAVELED/CONTACTED/EXPRESSED INTEREST in or to EARTH DESIGNATION 13F21O65L568D. We regret to inform you that portals to this planetary designation are currently nonfunctional due to PLANETARY QUARANTINE. This affects INGOING AND OUTGOING portals. We hope this issue will be resolved as quickly as possible. Our estimated timeframe for this issue is UNKNOWN. The estimated date for resumption of service is NON-EXISTENT AT THIS TIME (dates subject to change without notice). For further information regarding portal closures and policy, please contact your nearest Portalocity branch office, TBD, or contact us directly 1-800-383-5633.
Thank you for using Portalocity! We hope to serve your travel needs again in the future!
[And with that, portals to Kathy's world are closed. If you want to have gotten this message, you did! It's not like Portalocity's great at organization. Or caring. Available for on-island reactions and threads if anyone would like!]
- A Message From Portalocity, Monday Afternoon