Watching You
Katherine Hana Li spin_kick_snap
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Barry's Old Warehouse, Saturday Afternoon
Kathy hadn't meant to lie to Anders when she said that wouldn't be alone tonight. She'd had every intention of going back to the apartment, letting Raven yell at her for that bullshit note she'd left, and then spend the rest of the evening pass by in a Netflix binge, where she'd watch six episodes of a forgettable anime and only drag herself to bed when the sun came up.

That wasn't what happened. Too filthy and injured for Baltimore, she'd made her way to Barry's old warehouse of all places. But it hadn't been the worst place to hole up while she had a breakdown. There'd been a shower, a clothing replicator, even a prototype for a food fabricator, though Kathy'd had to force herself to eat. It also had a lot of bits of heavy machinery that barely dented when she slammed her batons against them and pillows that made a most satisfied ripping sound when she tore them apart. Best of all, it was in the middle of the warehouse district and no one had come to find out what all the clamor was about, save for one squirrel that had run away after she'd flung a bottle of rum at it and screamed, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

And there were plenty of places to curl up and crash once she'd worn herself out.

It was afternoon before she finally woke up, stiff and sore and still tired. Her reflection in a piece of shiny sheet metal was a blurry composite of light and dark--dark circles under her eyes, dark bruises elsewhere, pale face, and even bits of white feathers caught in her dark hair from her destructive rampage. She barely recognized herself. Hell, she barely looked human. If this were LA again, she wouldn't blame anyone for mistaking her for an ex. "Look at me, I'm a wreck," she muttered, shaking her head. "Just look at me."

"Look at me and tell me who I am,
Why I am, what I am.
Call me a fool and it's true I am,
I don't know who I am.
It's such a shame,
I'm such a sham.
No one knows who I am.
"

She was dancing now, Fandom's whimsy moving her feet in slow, sweeping circles. She barely noticed, not with memories from the year before rising up unbidden. Memories of when she'd been happy; filled with wonder and songs and laughter.

"Once there were sweet possibilities,
I could see, just for me.
Now all my dreams are just memories,
Fated never to be.
Time's not a friend, hurrying by.
I wonder who am I?

Am I the face of the future?
Am I the face of the past?
Am I the one who must finish last?
"

Her circles slowed, bright memories fading back to grim reality. She came to a stop right back at the metal sheet acting as a mirror. Once again, she looked into it, and her reflection stared back at her with dull eyes. She barely recognized the girl in the makeshift mirror. And wasn't sure she wanted to.

"Look at me and tell me who I am,
Why I am, what I am.
Will I survive?
Who will give a damn,
If no one knows who I am?
"

"Nobody knows," she whispered to herself. "Not even you. No one knows who I am....</i>"

[Post is open and musical!]

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 09:37 am (UTC) (Link)

There was music in the back of Dante's head, but there always was, these days-- picking up the guitar and taking Starsmore's music class were probably two of the best decisions he'd made in the past year. He'd found himself humming a few bars from Elena Hudson's record - now lost to him after his trailer got trashed - occasionally on his way back, but that wasn't new, either.

... A few hours into the day, however, he had been stripped of his comfortable delusion that nothing was going on by a burst of song. He'd like to say that was the reason he'd gone wandering around the island instead of staying at home, likely as he now was to start singing about all of the shit running through his head.

But mostly he was just walking because of the shit running through his head.

He wouldn't have stopped just because he heard someone else singing - not on a day like this - were it not for the voice attached to it. But... that was Kathy.

So he stopped and looked up at the warehouse.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 09:42 am (UTC) (Link)

Not so long ago that detail wouldn't have just made him walk faster.

"Look at me and tell me who I am,
Why I am, what I am.
Will I survive?
Who will give a damn,
If no one knows who I am?"
she sang, unaware that anyone was listening. Not that it would have mattered.

Damn it, Fandom. You didn't just put someone's confusion and hurt and doubt out there for public consumption.

Edited at 2017-04-08 09:43 am (UTC)

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 09:45 am (UTC) (Link)

Yeah.

Yeah, that was definitely Kathy.

Dante sighed. He had enough on his mind without adding someone else's shit to it. On the other hand? Fuck his own shit. It'd be nice to get away from it for a few seconds, and she sounded fucked up.

So he turned and went for the door. At least he knocked?

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 09:52 am (UTC) (Link)

There was a long pause while Kathy gave serious consideration to just pretending nobody was here. Granted, whoever was outside had probably heard her singing...which was also a check in the 'Pretend Not To Be Here' column.

Except it was Fandom and nobody here would take silence as an answer. So she sighed and opened the door.

She hadn't expected it to be Dante, that was clear by the way her eyebrows shot up at the sight of him. "Oh." she said, Totally Casual. "Hey. What's up?"

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 09:55 am (UTC) (Link)

Dante opened his mouth to answer that question - something casual and easy, maybe.

What came out was, "If I could look beyond your face
And photograph your hidden place
Would I find you smiling in the picture?
"

He pulled a face.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 10:02 am (UTC) (Link)

That deflated the smile she was carefully constructing anyway. "So that's the kind of day today is," she told him, leaning against the doorjamb. She also ignored the question; if the song asked it, it didn't count right? "In case you just got back or whatever."

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 11:07 am (UTC) (Link)

"Got back this morning," Dante said, "So I figured it out, yeah."

He searched her face. "You okay?"

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 06:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

"I'm alive," she said with a shrug. "So, overall, it's not my worst day. How are you?"

It would be interesting to see who copped to feelings first.

...You know, without Fandom interference.

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Dante shrugged. "Just heading out for a walk before I start serenading my cats," he said.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 06:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Haven't made it home yet," Kathy said. "...I probably should before Raven decides to kill me instead."

Because her notes really had been bullshit. But at least she'd left...something?

"I'm sure Blondie and Lachlan would appreciate the concert," she added, noting the plural.



rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 06:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Dante ignored that, instead gesturing at the building with his chin. "Why'd you come here, of all places?" he said.

He remembered this place. Just not from this Kathy.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 06:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

"This place?" she asked. "It used to belong to a friend of mine. It was his lab, before he graduated and left. He swore more than you did--used to give me shit for not swearing, too. We had a lot of laughs here."

He'd made her uniform, improved it. Made it bullet-resistant. Gotten huffy when all she'd done was glee about the pockets.

"Wanna come inside?" she asked, nodding into the interior. "Keep our inevitable singing off the streets at least?"

It looked like a warzone in there, but whatever.

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 06:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Sure," Dante said, sliding into the hall. "I remember this place," he added. "Just... different you."

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 06:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

"A different me?" Kathy asked, leading the way. "That sounds like fun for everyone." The warehouse was a jumble of machines, experiments, and random stuff. It hadn't been the neatest when she'd arrived, several years of neglect ensuring that, but a lot of the straight-up destruction was new. As of last night.

She'd tried to avoid anything that looked important though. So that was a thing.

"Sorry for the mess. There's a couch over here that has most of its stuffing left if you wanna sit."

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Last December, when we wound up in this wacked-out Fandom," Dante said, his eyes scanning over the area.

But he had no context for what'd been intact before he got here, so beyond a quick, worried glance at the back of Kathy's head, he said nothing.

He just went for the couch.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 07:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

"So, you ran into a version of me in December and then there was my trip back to the island in January...fuck, I could never leave you guys alone, could I?"

It had meant to come out as a joke, but the words turned in her mouth, becoming more honest than she'd meant.

She opened her mouth to try to mitigate it, only to have it co-opted. by Fandom instead. "Hard to tell you how I feel
Everything is so unreal
Lord, this life is a hard thing to get to.
"

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 07:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

As Dante sank down on the couch, he heaved a sigh. "Yeah," he said, "I noticed that."

He tilted his head up to look at her, studying her.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 07:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

And she did the same, looking down at him on the couch, not asking if he was agreeing with her statement, her song, or both.

Probably both.

"You're looking better," she told him. He wasn't bleeding, or overtly traumatized, or bright red and covered in veins. Definite step up.

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 07:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Funny what a night's sleep can do for you, right?" Dante said. "And--Going on and on I have the future in my hands
Getting lose from days I never could get over
Going on and on until I'm finally myself
Getting out of this dishonest world I never wanted--
"

Shitting hell, what was it with him and that song today?

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 07:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Kathy didn't look like a night's sleep had done much for her, but she was nodding anyway.

"So, just checking--are we pretending like we can't here these adorable musical interludes?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow upwards. "Might make the conversation easier."

In that they'd say almost exactly nothing.

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Not sure if we can," Dante said, leaning back against the couch. "Going to take me pretending I don't know you're still fucked up, too."

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 07:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

"What gave it away?" Kathy asked wryly.

While standing in front of him with feathers in her hair and road rash down one side.

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 07:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Where do you want me to start?" Dante asked her frankly.

spin_kick_snap

2017-04-08 08:13 pm (UTC) (Link)

Honestly, Kathy was almost curious--both about what he noticed and what he hadn't. "Wherever you want, I guess," she said, shrugging like it didn't matter. "Lay it on me."

rebelseekspizza

2017-04-08 08:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

"You look like a mess, this place is a mess, you were kinda out of it yesterday, and then there's the fucking singing," Dante ticked off. "... Though I don't know how much of a fucking dump this place was before you got here."

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