Deep In Thought
Katherine Hana Li spin_kick_snap
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Apartment Above Luke's, Tuesday Morning
The trip to Limbo City had worn her out mentally and emotionally and that, combined with barely sleeping over the past two weeks, had resulted in Kathy letting herself into the house and collapsing facedown on her bed and sleeping for almost two days straight. Exhausting herself that thoroughly had resulted in no dreams that she remembered (not that she could rightly call them dreams anymore), but when she finally woke up late Tuesday morning, there was no convenient fog of exhaustion to hide behind. She was wide awake, thinking clearly, and she knew what she needed to do next.

Dante had found his family. It was time to ovary up and ask Raven about hers.

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 05:42 am (UTC) (Link)

Raven was curled up on the couch in the living room, a toaster strudel balanced precariously on the back of it, flipping through a copy of Teen Vogue while a mindless sitcom played softly on the TV in the background.

This had become her morning routine over the weekend. It distracted her from wondering if Kathy was dead back in her room. In between her sneaking in to make sure Kathy was still breathing back in her room.

She would be extremely relieved to see her roommate up and about. Right up until the moment said roommate got to asking what she wanted to ask her about.

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 06:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Raven would have at least a small reprieve. Kathy came into the living room, her hands full of flowers. "It's Valentine's Day," she said, voice funereal. "I'd forgotten."

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 06:15 am (UTC) (Link)

. . . Raven had sent her some flowers, through the school. That tone did not bode well. "Yeah," she said. "Did the guys. . . ?"

She wasn't even sure exactly what she was asking. Except that the main thing lately that put that tone in Kathy's voice -- other than "dreams" -- was anything Anders and Dante related.

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 06:45 am (UTC) (Link)

And Kathy had sent Raven roses, too; she was handing over Raven's flowers to her right now. "I'll have to check," she said, looking through the notes on hers when the list went up. "I'm just not feeling the holiday regardless."

Just another reason for Kathy to hate, well, all of today

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

Raven took the flowers and looked over the note. "These are lovely, Kathy. Thank you." She looked back up at Kathy and frowned. She had no doubt there'd been feeling behind them when Kathy ordered them, but just now. . . . "What's wrong? I half expected you to spend today madly making treats."

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

"You're welcome," Kathy said, setting her flowers and Ringo's chocolates down so she could pull Raven into a hug. "I don't even know where to begin," she mumbled. "And I feel like I'm always complaining at you about something."

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 04:50 pm (UTC) (Link)

Raven hugged back, still concerned. "It's not like I mind," she pointed out. "You'd let me complain to you about stuff, too." Not that Raven did a lot of that. Utter self-sufficiency was a hard habit to break. "Is this about why you've basically been comatose the last couple days? I've been worried."

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 06:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Yeah," Kathy said, doing one last quick scan of the notes to see if another had somehow magically appeared. It hadn't and she shoved aside her disappointment. She had bigger fish to fry anyway. "Ended up going to Limbo City with Anders and Ada to find Dante." It had been as horrible as always, what with demons destroying an innocent carnival, and how sad was it that that didn't even rate on Kathy's current Trauma-Meter? "Long story short, I remembered his dead mom, realized that I remember every fucking thing that I did when I was an ex, and..."

She shook her head. She'd get to asking about her family in a few. She needed to work up to that. And it felt wrong to bring them up in the same breath as she did her old habit of murder and cannibalism.

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 06:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Oh my god." Raven pressed her hand to her mouth and scrambled up from the couch. "Are you -- okay, clearly you're not okay, forget I even started asking that. Is there anything I can . . . do?"

Yeah, that sounded like a stupid question too.

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 06:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

"You can tell me what happened to my family," Kathy said. Oops, so much for working up to it. Apparently, it had been preying on her more than she'd thought. Oh well. "I can't--you have to know. You wouldn't have left without checking in on them, right?"

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 06:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

That look on Raven's face there? That was the facial expression version of fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. "I was -- yeah. Yeah, I went to check on them." She sat back down sharply, unable to keep looking at Kathy if they were going to have this conversation now. "I'm sorry."

Please don't ask her to elaborate, Kathy. Please.

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 07:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

Kathy drew in a long, shuddering breath and looked away. "I figured as much," she said, unable to keep the tremor from her voice. "I'd hoped--"

Obviously, she'd hoped. And just as obviously, she'd been wrong.

And then she was bursting into tears. "My family's dead and it's all my fault," she sobbed.

Well, at least she wasn't asking for elaboration?

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 07:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

And part of Raven was really very tempted to just leave it at that. But she couldn't let Kathy take on even more guilt for things that hadn't actually been in her control at all.

"No," she said, still not looking at her. "It's mine."

spin_kick_snap

2017-02-14 07:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

"No," Kathy said, assuming that Raven was dipping from the same well of guilt that she was. "No, it was my job to get them out, to keep them safe. Not yours. They were my responsibility--I never should have made you shoulder that burden."

tigerundercover

2017-02-14 07:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and looked even further away. She really would have happily avoided this conversation forever and ever and ever. It was possible she had decided walking across a continent full of zombies was a really good idea in part to run away from this very conversation.

Which didn't make any sense at all, but frankly, neither did walking across an entire continent full of zombies.

"No," she said, forcing the words out so hard she sounded angry. "I mean it's actually my fault. I didn't get there in time but -- your mom was still alive."

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