"Wait? Are you really calling yourself 'Social Justice Warrior'?" Kathy grit her jaw and tried not to let the laughing bother her. After all, it wasn't like this was the first time she'd been laughed at tonight. Except this was a little more galling, considering that she had just stopped someone from running off with this guy's wallet. And his girlfriend's purse. Yup. This guy, currently clinging to his girlfriend's shoulder so he didn't fall over, was practically in hysterics at the same girl that had dashed off after a mugger and rescued all their stuff.
Even his girlfriend was giggling, giving her an apologetic smile as she did. "Well, it is kind of funny," she said, as if Kathy, err, rather as if Social Justice Warrior couldn't already see that they thought so. "I mean, you're one unicorn away from being a Lisa Frank trapper keeper already." Hearing that, her boyfriend doubled over again, wiping tears from his eyes.
"Well," she said with forced cheer. "I'm still glad I managed to get your stuff back." You know. As she'd done. Just sayin'. "I'd really suggest you take a cab home, though, okay? I don't think your boyfriend's in any condition to drive."
"No, no," the guy said, taking a hand off his knees to wave at her, trying to catch his breath. "I'm cool. I'll be fine. I'm just--you--trapper keeper."
Yup. Social Justice Warrior had had just about enough of this. Clearly, no thanks would be forthcoming, so she just gave them a wave (a really irritated wave, not that they could probably tell) and bounded away with "Holy shit! She's like a Gummie Bear!" ringing in her ears. It was a struggle not to turn around and pop the guy in the nose with her stick, but she was a superhero. So she refrained.
Didn't stop her from imagining it, though.
Five minutes and fifteen blocks later, Kathy was on a rooftop, trying not to feel completely deflated. Yeah, everyone had told her that her name was dumb and her costume silly, but she'd thought that the people she'd helped would at least be on her side. Ha! Yeah right. If anything, the petty thugs and the like that she tangled with were easier to deal with. Sure, they laughed at her, too, and she had yet to deal with one who thought for an instant that she could possibly be a threat, but that just made dispatching them so much more satisfying. So far none of them had laughed at her as she'd blurred off into the night. Of course, she usually left them attached to telephone poles and street lights, tied with brightly-colored gymnast ribbons, so it was possible they realized how thoroughly the joke was on them.
Unfortunately, none of the alternatives she was coming up with for Social Justice Warrior were any better. They were either too cutesy or far too contrived. The ones that sounded even remotely badass just seemed laughable when applied to her, in her karate gi and rainbow prints. Not that she was intending to change her costume--as much as she loved reading superhero comics, she did not intend to emulate one and end up looking like walking fetish-fuel--but it did make choosing an awesome name that much harder.
"Help! Stop! Police!" Kathy's sulking reverie was interrupted by a cry for help just below her. Peering down, she saw some guy in a mask tearing down the street with a young woman trying to keep up. "Help! Someone! Anyone!"
Without thinking, Kathy flung herself over the side of the building, landing in a crouch next to the pursuing woman and took off at a dash after the purse snatcher. He was already winded and she caught up to him before he even turned the corner, flinging her stick out and catching him in the back of the knee. He went flying, Kathy snatched the purse out of the air and was back at the woman's side before the last echo of her cry for help had faded.
"Oh my gosh," the woman said, looking at her. "Thank you thank you thank you so much! You just appeared out of nowhere like some kind of avenging angel!" She took in Kathy's costume a little dubiously and asked, "Are you some kind of hero? What's your name?"
The woman's description rang a few bells for Kathy and she thought back to Sparkle's comment at JGOB the other day. "Just glad I could help," she said said with a grin. "As for the name, well, you can call me Banzai."
- Baltimore, Tuesday Night